Hats!

I like hats. I like them a lot. I figure one can never have too many hats. But I'm probably getting close.

The pattern for this first hat came from Stitch 'N Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker. Hell, I even tried to use colors and buttons similar to those on the hat in the book because I thought it was so cute. However, I didn't check my gauge, so this hat is too small. Probably it needs to be gifted to one of my smaller-headed friends. You know what they say, "A hat that doesn't fit is only good if it's a yarmulke." And this isn't a yarmulke, and I don't think that's what they say.

Hat model?

Cute ear-flaps, but they don't reach my ears!

I made this next hat because I love cables, and I wanted to use up this yarn I had. Unfortunately, I managed to use up all the yarn before the hat was finished. If you look at the ear-flap, you can see a color change. Oh well. Cables make anything look better, (if you ask me) and they're super fun to knit.

In X-Men, Cable is the son of Cyclops who gets sent to the future!

This next hat is ridiculous. I don't know what I was thinking when I made it. I think I was thinking "beret," but instead it came out like over-sized floppy-hat. Whatever. Maybe it's like one of those Rastafarian hats or something. All I know is I lined this hat with wild print fabric, as if it wasn't ridiculous enough.

Floppy hat powers, go!

This next hat is pretty old, but I like it. When I made it, I was trying to make a Keroppi hat, but most people think the eyes are ears. Anyway, this is one of the best fitting hats I've ever made; I made the back longer than the front, and it covers my ears nicely. But it's pretty silly looking, so I don't wear it too often.

Frog hat! Kero kero...

This next hat is the easiest hat in the world to knit! Basically, you just knit a tube that will fit your head. Once the tube is tall enough to cover enough of your head plus a little extra, you fold it in half and use kitchener stitch to bind the the stitches together. I did the the bottom of the hat in seed stitch (for some reason it's my favorite hat edging) and added some triangles for ear-flaps, but that's totally optional! Oh and I had some random leather scraps that I used as... doinglies(?) on the ends of the ties.

Pointy hat!

Well, that's all. Is that enough hats for you?

Patterns: All are my own except for the one I mentioned from Stitch 'N Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker

Knit Headbands! (with crochet flowers!)

Sometimes you just don’t want a hat. If you’re like me and wear your hair up all the time, hats just aren’t practical, and besides, they give you hat-hair. But I hate having cold ears in the winter, and earmuffs, well, I don’t know about earmuffs—they seem suspicious. (And they’re uncomfortable.) So the logical alternative is.... a knit headband!

First I knit one for my mom because... have I mentioned how many hats I’ve made for my mom that don’t fit her head? We’ve got large heads in this family, but it’s not because we’re arrogant, it’s because we’re smart. (Or at least that’s what I like to tell myself.) Anyway, I have this goal to make my mom the perfect winter headwear, and I almost always fail. Oh well.

So I made a knit headband for my mom. I used a soy-blend yarn that she got for me—very fancy. It was super easy; I just knit in stockinette from the button end to the buttonhole end with a couple stitches of garter stitch on each side. Oh yeah, and throw in some increases and decreases in there too. And here are pictures, cute right?

Nice slouch!

A headband for my mom!

 The only thing really worth mentioning is the pattern for the buttonhole. I used the Bestest Buttonhole (truly!) pattern from Stitch ‘N Bitch: Superstar Knitting. It’s the only buttonhole I have ever knit that doesn’t totally suck. I recommend looking at the book because it’s got pictures, but here’s basically what you do:

1. Work to where you want the buttonhole.

2. Slip the next stitch knitwise. (This means act like you are about to knit the stitch, but then just pass it to the needle without pulling a loop through.)

3. Bring the yarn to the front.

4. Slip the next stitch knitwise.

5. Pass first slipped stitch over second stitch and drop off needle. You’ve bound off your first stitch!

Repeat steps 4 and 5 until you’ve bound off enough stitches.

6. Slip the last stitch from the right hand needle to the left hand needle. Turn work around.

7. Cast on (purlwise) one more stitch than you bound off. Turn work around.

Now marvel at that fancy buttonhole!

Well, I liked the one I made for my mom so much that I made one for myself with some alpaca yarn I had been hoarding. (Alpaca yarn is so wonderful... sigh.) And aren’t those wooden buttons cute? Kelly got them for me, and I honestly want to use them on everything.

Wooden button <3

Oh and the flowers? Well... I just sort of made them up. It’s crocheted... you can figure it out or look at a book or something.

Pattern: mine (with the Bestest Buttonhole!)

Carnivorous Plant Mittens

These were made for my dad's wife, Kelly, for Christmas. My favorite part, although biologically inaccurate, is the teeth. Currently, they seem to be digesting a plastic spider.

Pattern: adapted from Stitch and Bitch Nation's Alligator Mittens.

Fair Isle Hat

This hat is my first successful attempt at fair isle knitting! It was my dad's Christmas present.

Pattern: my own

Poinsettia Floppy Hat

(Scully and I model the floppy hat.)

Every Christmas and birthday my mom has asked me to knit her a hat, and every year, despite taking her head measurement, I make her a hat that doesn't fit. Finally, I decided to make her an enormous floppy hat.

It's classy, like a beret, but with a giant poinsettia!

According to mom, when she wore her hat to work, one of her students asked her what was growing on her head. And this is why I worry about the American educational system...

Pattern: my own